We’ve all been there.

A colleague pushes back on your idea and you think, well, that’s a bit rude.

Someone misses a deadline and you jump to they’re not pulling their weight.

You send a message and get silence, so obviously, they must be annoyed with me.

The problem? Most of the time, we’re wrong.

Our brains are lazy (in a helpful-but-also-not way)

We’re wired to fill in blanks quickly. When something’s unclear, our brains reach for the nearest past experience and run with it.

Efficient? Yes.

Accurate? Not always.

In coaching sessions, Karen sees this play out constantly. Teams make assumptions, and those assumptions quietly shape how they communicate—or don’t. Before long, tension builds, stories get created, and we’re all stuck reacting to things that were never even true in the first place.

Curiosity is the fix (and yes, it’s a skill)

Here’s the good news: there’s an alternative, and it’s beautifully simple.

Be curious.

Ask the second question. Get context. Pause before filling in the blanks.

Instead of “They’re challenging me,” try: “What are they seeing that I’m not?”

Instead of “They’re not replying,” try: “Are they just swamped?”

Curiosity is what turns assumptions into understanding and understanding into actual, useful conversation.

It’s not soft. It’s smart.

Being curious at work isn’t about tiptoeing around each other. It’s about building trust. Creating space for difference. Working with facts, not guesswork.

It’s the difference between a team that spins in quiet frustration and one that gets stuff done, together.